Finding it difficult to get to sleep last night I watched When Harry Met Sally. While this seemed like a good choice at the time it led to more what if’s and comparisons to my own life. Whatever happened to my ability to enjoy a good movie?

For a girl who tries to play it cool and say she doesn’t believe in the Santa Claus of love I have a hard time not getting stuck on the what if.

Let’s start with my psychic reading last May. Living in Boston for four years I had come to love Salem for a weekend getaway. It was practically Disney World for witchcraft, and although I am not a witch I was severely disappointed on my 16th birthday when my parent’s didn’t reveal this as a family secret a la Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Anyways, I had been visiting Salem frequently and as a result had my tarot cards read multiple times. There was a particular witch I preferred and on my birthday I sought him out for one final reading before I graduated and moved back to Columbus. While in the past few months a couple of his prophecies proved to be inaccurate one still looms on my mind. I am so caught up in his predictions for my love life that I am seriously contemplating a phone reading in the near future. Judge away.

I check my horoscope on my phone every day. I could lie and say I do this because it was a free app and I have downtime in the morning. Truth is in the last two weeks in has been dead on 3 out of 4 times I am looking to it to know how to proceed. True vague statements about turning events, change, and unfinished business could apply to anyone. But, let me point out here that the app goes into much more detail and I am gulable enough to believe my phone when it tells me to believe someone I am thinking about is thinking about me. You’re still judging, that’s fine.

Finally the fortune cookie. These are rarely accurate and usually cop out statements rather than fortunes, however, I am still the type of girl who holds her breath when cracking the cookie. I don’t know what the hell I am hoping it will read, but without fail I continually wish it will happen.

Now let’s look at the facts. My May reading expired a month ago and it didn’t come true. I had three months for true love to find me. My horoscope while 75% on the ball drops it 25% of the time and usually confuses me 100% of the time. And the delicious fortune cookie may not disappoint in sweet taste, but sweet satisfaction is not something it gives me.

So, why do I keep holding my breath?

This is where I answer my friend David’s true love challenge. Faith. I have so much (unwanted, uncontrollable) faith that love happens endlessly that I can’t pretend to be someone that I am not. While I have had my bitter days I can’t lie and say I don’t bounce back. I am a romantic comedy jumbled into every cliche every written. It may make me sick but it is what it is.

So everyday my horoscope tells me love is on the horizon I subtly cross my fingers. Each time a fortune cookie declares a romantic kiss awaits me, I will pucker up. I will continue to get my head stuck in the clouds. And the 9 out of 10 times I get my hopes shattered I will still not stop.

That’s just me, whether I like it or not.

Now, time to Google my Salem friend’s number, it is much easier to ask him about the future than actually start facing it on my own. After all the Universe got it right once, how hard can it be to do it again?

It took 12 years and 3 months for Harry and Sally to get it right.